The Difference between Loneliness and being alone: –
It’s an interesting question is it not? What defines these two aspects of being and more importantly how do we tell the difference. To get deeply personal is my way, because I choose to express all that I am as best I can, to aid the development of all people in all times and places.
I have cried out in anguish and despair in times of sorrow, due to the bone deep loneliness that has enveloped me. The shining being that I am. I have felt the cold depths of being stuck inside myself and cut off from everyone and everything that I know and love.
The wilderness of who we are can be a cold and very lonely place sometimes, depression, anxiety and fear are all expressions of us understanding who we are. In those moments of true loneliness, a stillness comes just after we experience those raw and brutal emotions that roil within.
This modern world that we have so lavishly created hides all of this from us by keeping us “busy”. In this busy-ness we become numb to it, we are able to shut it off and ignore it. This practice of so effortlessly denying ourselves what we truly feel has become far too easy and it blurs the line. When we stop experiencing these emotions on a regular basis they build up and begin to turn inwards and subconsciously destroy everything we hold dear. Relationships become distrustful because we no longer trust our feelings and therefore ourselves. We believe the lies that the ego tells us, to the point that we are totally unconscious of when those “outside” ourselves are doing blithely and cruelly.
What I’m word fully sharing with you is that loneliness is not the correct human state. Its not what we are meant to live. Make no mistake, I too have been surrounded by more people than I could count and still felt more alone than ever. Laid next to a partner who I thought genuinely loved and cared for me, only to realize he was further away from me than the moon that I so love.
This state of loneliness comes from ignorance and numbness of feeling and it comes from a place of cold and unfeeling separateness. The greatest of all lies! These moments will touch every single life. No matter your money, status your kith or your kin. If you can just let it happen and let it pierce you. Beyond the busy, in that place of silence and stillness. You find a sliver of your own sanity because you will remember how to listen to who you actually are.
Loneliness can kill, trust me. I would know, it cuts deeper than scars and it maims the spirit. Why do you think solitary confinement is used as a punishment? Think about that. So, don’t you do it to someone you love unconsciously because you are lonely too. Reach out, open up and become warmth and let in the brighter aspects your soul. Shine its warmth and hearth – yes, hearth – on all you come into contact with because in this busy world. Who really dares to admit that they feel alone sometimes?
How much sorrow and destruction could be avoided if we just let out and said, “Can you spend some time with me?”. How much more precious than any of our material resources would that be?
Being Alone: –
Eventually in difference to feeling a lone, we actually seek solace by choice. We withdraw form the world and from people and stimulus. When we feel and indescribable need to be “away”. In these times we are waking up, we are cocooning, and we are evolving.
When you were a child. Almost every time you fell and hurt yourself, if you were fortunate (or unfortunate depending on your experience and how you view it) – Your parent(s) would fuss and rush over and kiss it better. However, even the most loving and maternal or paternal of parents would have once in ten. Left you to your own defenses, not out of cruelty but to see how you coped. To see what you went on to do and more importantly, to allow you. To understand yourself and what you could do on your own.
In being alone we re-learn who we are, we learn what we are made of. In withdrawing from others, we remember who we are, we start to regain snippets of memory from a time and place when we belonged so deeply to the earth and to ourselves. When we were without bodies and what our purpose was for descending to this plane.
When we choose to be alone we rediscover what our gifts are, what our unique mission is. We learn of our strength and our capability. We can look at our vulnerabilities and honor them, we nurture ourselves and we grow. We “parent” ourselves. We take over from nature and learn to control the emotional tides within us. We learn to channel those potent vortices within us of energy and power and we learn to direct them by sheer force of will.
This powerful place of being alone by choice and choosing ourselves is a powerful place to be and one we should revisit throughout our lives, by choice. Not as punishment. Ask yourself this – When you were alone by choice or by circumstance. Weren’t those times you learnt your greatest capacity for self-sufficiency? Were they not when you realized, just how strong you are? How capable?
When you were alone and grappling with your conscience of your past misdemeanors did you not truly feel “sorry”. Its in the face of who we are by our own judgement and by our own mercy that we discover who we are. So, if your find yourself alone by choice or by circumstance. Remember that its only you, whether its racing thoughts, a fast heartbeat, replaying the same scenes in your mind, feeling sad, ashamed angry, annoyed, pissed off. Its only you, its only your fear projecting your thoughts, on to your heart and guess what? As its only you – YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF. As no one else can. You can stop it all in its tracks and claim your power back. What to do with it you ask?
Replace it with love!! Love yourself, nourish yourself, be kind to yourself. There is but one of you in this grand tapestry and it would not be the same without you! How many times have you made yourself at yourself? Realized that you are funny, kind and been proud of those facts?
In choosing to be alone at times by choice or by circumstance. You will remember all of this and more. You will FEEL and that is a masterpiece because that is what we were made for. Your infinite capacity for love is measured only by the strength of your commitment to getting to know who you truly are and where you came from, which answers eventually the biggest of them all, WHY?
“If you are reading this my lonely soul, my alone by choice warrior and friend. You’re here and bright, you are love and you are might, in stillness of night or by light of the day, never be afraid to steal away. Take a moment, breathe a breath. You are no coward, let that be said. My spirit honors your spirit, your mind and your flesh. May all that you are be revealed and refreshed. I love you dear soul.
Brothers, Sisters, Kith and Kin. Its time to wake up and start living from within. In this ancient future, now is the time. To reclaim and remember all that makes you divine.”
R. Rey – 29/09/2016